So pretty exciting stuff, they send you to “school” to get educated on what is going to happen. But in all honesty, it is kind of scary to think of the level of toxicity that is put in to your body. For any of you Star Trek geeks, remember the movie where I think Captain Kirk fell and broke his back or had bleeding in his head (it’s been years since I’ve seen it, I know it is the movie where they go back in time to save the whales), and he’s at a hospital and the surgery they are going to do is so barbaric that Dr. McCoy is aghast that they would do this and steals him from the hospital and then just waves his little magic doctor wand over him. Someday they will look back at how we treat cancer and probably have the same level of disgust (or greater).
Okay, sorry for the tangent. So you are required to attend chemo education so they can make sure you are prepared to care for yourself during this whole ordeal. Essentially they explain the poisons that will be going in your body, the side effects, and the treatment options available to offset the side effects. The ones you have probably heard of are front and center; nausea, hair loss, potential for increase of infection from decrease white blood counts. But they do drive in to your brain that there are now drugs for everything (except the weight gain and hair loss, still most pissed off about the whole weight gain thing). So if I get nauseous, don’t play the hero and power through it, call them immediately. If I get a fever, call them immediately (there is always a doctor on call), so that they can get me antibiotics or get me to a hospital. Hopefully, I won’t have too severe of side effects thanks to my age and current physical condition, but remember my new attitude is to think the worse.
But now for the good part, I of course saved the best for last. For the 48-72 hours following treatment I will be toxic! Yep, think marvel villain level of toxicity. Trying to come up with a good name. You know those frogs that the amazon tribes use to poison their darts with, that will be me! They advise you to not have your dog, or spouse, lick you because you will be oozing toxins during this time. If any fluids “spill” to clean them up wearing gloves; if these fluids get on your skin, to wash it off immediately; if you suffer from hot flashes at night (cuz that’s another awesome side effect, early menopause), to wash your sheets. Dang, I was really thinking the super hero powers would kick in during radiation (I’m going for the Hulk, “Hulk mad! Hulk Smash!”) but it appears I will be gaining those powers even earlier. My brother has already come up with a good name and logo – The Toxic Avenger. Kinda liking the ring of that. ? But if you can do better, comment on this page and we will see who comes up with the best name.
Less than 24 hours and I will be the “Toxic Avenger”
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