It’s been a week since the hair came off and I wasn’t sure how it would feel being bald, but to be honest, I have a bit of a complex about the hair I used to have. Why’s this? So many people are shocked with how good I look without hair. And I mean a lot of people. I’m starting to think my hair looked like shit. I mean I know I didn’t spend much time styling it, but seriously, it wasn’t that bad, was it???
So Brent asked me why I was shaving my hair when I was. I’m sure he isn’t the only one to wonder this. I hadn’t started losing hair (I was 10 days out from my first treatment), so why do it now? But hair loss was inevitable. My thought process was that it would be way more depressing to have clumps of hair falling out in the shower, or staying behind on my pillow in the morning, then to have a party with my friends, enjoy good food and drink and just shave it off. So that is why I decided to shave my hair when I did. Also, I wanted to do it during that window when I felt good. The 10 day mark seemed to be that perfect sweet spot, far enough out from treatment that I could actually eat and enjoy a couple beverages (although I was somewhat tentative in my alcohol consumption now that my stomach and I had reached an uneasy truce), but not so far out that hair was already falling out. I can tell you my timing was perfect. Any later and I would’ve had clumps coming out – and how do I know this? Cuz hair was falling out in other locations 14 days out from my first chemo treatment. Any sooner and I would’ve been the first one to leave so I could go home and go to bed.
We’re all born bald, baby.
Telly Savalas
Now that I’m bald and the stubble left behind from the initial shave is falling out, I need to share a couple of observations. It hurts when the hair is falling out. Not sure if my hair is growing little barbs and clinging on for dear life, but it feels like there are pins in my head. I had read about this on other blogs but guess I didn’t believe it until I experienced it (so folks, believe it!). In addition, my head gets uncomfortably hot without a cap on. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but for whatever reason when I am cap free and my head touches the back of the couch, a pillow, a head rest – it feels extremely hot where its touching. Even with a cooling pillow my head gets too hot to be comfortable. Finally, I’m self-conscious. More than I thought I would be. I can’t go out in public without some type of head covering and then I feel like everyone is looking. I’m sure I’ll get over this, that I’ll get to the point where I just won’t care. But for now, it takes an effort to go out and do my typical tasks – I’m doing them, but I could see where it would be easy for someone to just stay holed up in their house. Fortunately for me it’s winter time so wearing a hat is standard dress.
So bald is beautiful, and I guess more beautiful on me then having hair. Back for my next round of poison on Tuesday, keep your fingers crossed that things aren’t worse than the last round.
It’s not about how your hair looked, it’s just that your facial beauty shows through now. I went to a costume shop and bought a blue shiny wig, had a great time wearing it. I did wear scarfs also but my fav was I had ordered a couple “survivor” buffs from the show Survivor, they worked great and I liked the message. I tried to drink water but with water in my mouth I still felt like my mouth was dry, try white juice. I had water bottles everywhere so it was handy, wash that crap through?. You are stronger than you know, stay strong
Thanks Nancy. I have been really downing the water but ended up craving orange juice the other day – it was so satisfying for some reason. I like the head scarves the best, like the pre-tied bandana style. But am trying to mix it up some.
I felt the same about how my hair must’ve looked pre-treatment. But I’m happy to keep it short now. It is way easier and I still get more compliments now than I did w longer hair (whenever I do get compliments on my short hair, I just make sure to let folks know why I have it b/c I would Never have been brave enough to cut it this short before chemo treatment so i share w the world now….i figure it is a(nother) gift of chemo – besides having a 2nd chance at life. 🙂 <3
Your beauty really is shining through even more now. And who knows?: short/bald may "Grow" on you…so to speak!
I will see how I feel once it starts to grow back, it is quite freeing not to have to do anything with my hair in the morning!!