Testing, 1-2-3

Made it through 2 weeks of chemo without much (other than exhaustion) beating me down.  Everything is still going well, but my glass half empty persona is starting to shove aside my Pollyanna personality.  Are things going too well? Am I lulling myself into a false sense of security and jinxing myself? When is the other shoe going to drop?  So the month of October will be all about testing, not by my decision or even suggestion but by the oncologists’ on my team.  First up will be my 6th MRI this year (that I’m aware of).  This is still the standard scan I have every 8 weeks to see if now is the time for Gamma Knife.  I’m not stressed about this one because I am fine for the GK procedure to happen when it is ready to do so, and these scans help set that date.  The second scan is another PET scan at the end of October (right before my oncologist flees the country – hmm).  This one I’m already starting to stress about (dumb I know, but can’t seem to help it).  The last one showed no evidence of cancer in my main body and my fear is something will have cropped up in the last 4 months.  I was so excited over those results and bragging it up to everyone, and now I’m worried that I spoke too soon or jinxed myself.  So October is probably going to have a lot of sleepless nights for me.  Still so thankful for such a great workplace that allows me the flexibility of stepping back and focusing on myself, and my friends and family for helping to take care of me, shuttle me, make me smile and laugh.

So here’s to getting A’s (all clear) on my tests and no C’s (cancer).  Not trying to wish away days because they are so precious, but dang – I’m not a patient person and now I have 4+ weeks until scans are done and results are in.  Here’s to embracing the moment and trying to settle my brain.  So with that in mind I’m hoping to see Brent in elk camp Saturday, hoping more so they have an elk down.  My sister-in-law (who is visiting so she could drive me to my treatment yesterday) and I, on our way to Spokane, saw a herd of elk just down the hill from my house, which is more elk than the boys have seen.  Guess that proves who’s the better gatherer, lol.  My SIL was happy that this time when she drove me to treatment I didn’t end up on a helicopter ride to the hospital – me too sis, me too!

Here’s o a great start to fall for everyone near and far, for those headed to the woods or just enjoying your pumpkin spice everything.  Happy Fall Solstice (a day late and a dollar short).