Time is flying by

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I last wrote.  I had so many good intentions but time just ran away from me.  Since the last time I updated this I have had another round of PET and MRI scans as well as my chemo/immunotherapy treatment (my next one is coming up fast next week). But I also managed to work a full pay-period (80+ hours) for the first time in 12 months.  Yesterday (the 2nd) was my “everything went to hell”versary. But stuff it Cottonwood doctor, I’m not dead yet, nor do I have plans to see if there is something more on the “other side”, I can wait on answering that question after a few more decades have passed on this side.

Obligatory update: PET scan, clear – still.  I don’t know who gets more excited, me or my oncologist.  But regardless we both have reason to celebrate. MRI scan, showing minimal changes (some shrinkage) post gamma knife, but what the doctor’s are looking for is expansion of the last few remaining lesions or new lesions – and in that regards, my MRI was great, no growth, no new spots.

My new schedule of getting my infusion every 3 weeks is going well.  I’m finding the perfect “cocktail” of anti-nausea, anti-constipation, anti-headache but it hasn’t been perfected yet.  It still wipes me out and the higher dosage is definitely giving me some nerve issues.  So I’m on a new drug to take daily to treat those shooting pains.  A small price to pay for still being here a year later.

With my new schedule I am able to return to work.  And as I mentioned above the first pay-period of the year I put in over 80 hours.  It felt so good to return to work, I know that might sound odd, but I have so many people that I enjoy seeing and engaging with that are through my work that I never realized how much I missed that daily interaction.  As I adjust to this new schedule/life (?) it should get easier to balance work, life and play.

Speaking of play – I finally got to get out and do something fun. This might not sound fun to some people, but let’s put this in perspective.  For 12 months the only travel I have gotten to do is going to a doctor’s. The only overnights I got away from my home was for doctoring or being laid out in a hospital.  So after a dry spell of no fun, I took a Friday off and headed to Cascade, ID to do a little bit of ice fishing.  My only goal for the weekend was to have fun (check), hopefully catch something (check several times), and a cherry on the fun sundae would be if I caught one of the jumbo perch that Cascade is so well known for and get a “money shot” photo (big check).  Yep – I caught the biggest perch of the weekend (2+ pounds) and managed not to destroy anything, unlike the 3 other guys I traveled with.  So my hubby, our cousin and our good friend all went on this adventure.  We got there Friday and did a bit of fishing. I caught a nice perch by Minnesota standards and kept it as kind of an FU to cancer, my first catch in 15 months of anything. On Saturday we headed out for the day and that is where I landed my jumbo.  I didn’t even realize I had such a nice fish on so imagine my surprise when I pulled out a 14″, 2 pound perch.  After a couple more catches, we wrapped up the day and headed back to the Airbnb. The weather for the 3rd day of fishing was calling for single digits or negatives and with my thin blood, and my goals for the trip accomplished, I told the guys I was gonna beg out and just get the property cleaned up and pack so when they got back from fishing we could head out (checkout was noon).  Reflecting back did I have a premonition that made me decide to stay back?? You decide. So twelve comes and goes, one comes and goes, two o’clock comes and still no guys.  Being the optimist/Pollyanna that I am my first thought is that they must really be getting into the fish.  I finally hear a snowmobile pulling up to the rental and think, finally they’re back.  But only one fisherman comes in and proceeds to tell me that his belt broke (pretty common with snowmobiles), but while they were all stopped helping to put a new belt on, my husband turned around to see his snowmobile, which he had left idling, in flames.  The 3 of them got the fire out before it burned everything to the ground but the sled was/is now unable to be ridden.  They get my sled to haul things out and drag Brent’s sled off of the lake.  After all of this and getting things loaded up, we finally got on the road 3 hours after check-out.  Fortunately, the nicest Airbnb landlord ever, had no issue with this and even offered for us to stay an extra night at no charge. But we headed home as most of us had to get to work the next morning. When we arrive home one of the guys with us that had borrowed one of our trailers, managed to get the hitch broken. So all in all it was a great weekend for me (I caught fish AND didn’t break anything), the guys had a good time until Sunday afternoon, but they were still smiling when we left, realizing that things could’ve been a lot worse (no one hurt, the sled might be repairable, folks caught fish). I appreciate their patience with me during my time on the ice and good humor during all of what happened Sunday trying not to bring down my first fun weekend in a year. Still would like to point out once more, that I caught the biggest fish and my sled didn’t burst into flames.

As I wrap up this first blog post of 2023, I’ve been trying to work on better self-care for this new year.  I know that you might think the fact that I fought back cancer and pushed it to the shadows for now is a form of self-care, and maybe it is. However, there is more than just focusing on keeping your chin up and putting the blinders on as you lean forward pulling the heavy sled of cancer behind you.  You need to stop, laugh, play, pamper yourself with massages, manicure Mondays, taco Tuesdays with friends/co-workers, cribbage games, reading and relaxing and getting out with your pup for a walk regardless of how fast or how far you can actually go. Life is short and I hope all of you stop, take a breath, lift your head up and look around at what really matters. A month late but Happy 2023, I am not sad to put 2022 behind me.